Sunday, April 11, 1999

David Blaine Underwater

 And from champagne to water I went. Six feet of it, actually--and a man underneath
 it! Yes, folks, the (in)famous street magician David Blaine was "BURIED ALIVE"
 under six feet of water in an airtight coffin on Trump's property at 68th Street and
 Riverside. James Nederlander and Donald Trump were producers of this farce.
 Honestly, if a man was in an airtight coffin under water for six days (at the time I saw
 him, on Sunday, April 11), with only 2 tablespoons of water being feed to him through
 his leg via a catheter, I'd expect him to look just a little peaked--wouldn't you? C'mon!
 Where was the drama? I was prepared to pour my heart out to the man in suffering. I
 was expecting to see a sober, meditating man, pensive and thoughtful of the
 implications of his undertaking. But, noooooo, he was just lying there, all
 slap-happy-grin-faced under a big fluffy white blanket, waving like he was Pee Wee
 Herman on the first day of his new TV show. If it weren't for my dashing and
 good-looking date, I would've smashed the glass and grabbed Mr. Chump Card by his
 scrawny neck and shaken the magic out of him. That probably would've revealed
 mirrors, rabbits' paws and jacks. I might not have been so reactionary, but the whole
 thing reeked of flashy showmanship. You can check out Mr. Blaine yourself.